Early in the days of the Clinton administration, the Democrats in Congress used to have a yearly meeting at Kingsmill Resort in Williamsburg, Virginia. At some point during their retreat the President and Vice-President would attend a dinner function and then address the group in a closed-door setting.
It was always an exciting time as the sharpshooters would take their positions on the rooftops, the bomb-squad dogs would canvas the building and the Secret Service would station themselves throughout the resort, especially the Conference Center where one could be located about every 50 feet or so. I remember setting up the banquet hall and the staff being asked to leave for twenty minutes while the dogs checked the room. I also remember that we were scanned one time only for weapons.
I was tending bar when the politicians arrived, so many TV-familiar faces that it gave me goosebumps: George Mitchell, Carol Moseley Brown and even Ted Kennedy. In fact, while most of the VIPs were ordering single drinks, Senator Kennedy actually asked me for an entire bottle of wine which he took to the veranda and enjoyed in a close-knit conference with a beautiful young aide. NO KIDDING!
Soon enough the crowd moved into the banquet hall and just then my manager approached to tell me I would be the server for President Clinton and Vice-President Gore. Oh the excitement! It was a buffet, so there was not much more to do than clear plates and offer wine, but I relished every minute of it. After dinner, the President took to a small dais to give his speech and all the servers left the room.
A Secret Service man approached me and told me that as the President's server, I needed to place a bottle of Perrier next to the podium. As I prepared to go into the room, he also said, "There will be rifles pointed in your direction. Don't try anything. And I recommend you don't trip." REALLY? WAS HE JUST MESSING WITH ME OR WHAT? I was terrified as I approached the dais, but it got worse a few minutes later when the same man told me the President now wanted coffee.
At Kingsmill Resort, we didn't just bring you a cup of coffee. We brought you a dainty cup on a dainty saucer that was not filled until after everything was placed on the table. As I made my way across the room a second time, everyone in that room could hear the empty cup shaking against the saucer as my hand trembled. After this experience, all I wanted to do was smoke, so I went out back to the loading dock and told a cigarette all about my big day. Then I decided I couldn't smell like smoke if called back to the President's side, so I went to my locker and brushed my teeth and washed my face. It always amazed me I was able to go outside, go to my locker and reenter the room without being scanned a second time for weapons.
Jump forward a year to the second visit and the events get out of control. This time the bomb-sniffing dogs took over the banquet hall for almost 90 minutes, which almost threw the event behind schedule. We were really scrambling. My new friend Jim was selected to take care of the Clinton's table this year, but when the President walked into the room, Jim completely freaked out, and I was asked to step in and take over. (It's important for me to mention that Jim was gay...very, very unapologetically gay.)
We also were scanned each and every time we entered into the banquet hall, and during Clinton's address, no one was allowed in the room, even to deliver coffee. With all this extra time during the speech, Jim and I decided to wander the Conference Center. What did we talk about? We talked about how HOT all those Secret Service guys were. We also got into a bizarre early edition of the game "Who would you have sex with...?", which included the hilarious question: Clinton or Gore? We were as bad as two New York contruction guys whistling at a girl in a bikini, just much quieter.
Please let it be known that the Secret Service guys were really, really nice. They smiled as we walked by. In fact, some of them may have been laughing. There must have been a private joke that day.
Eventually it was time for me to hit the back dock to share all my adventures with my cigarette. As I stood there smoking, my eyes came to rest on a strange group of wires coming out of the Conference Center where no wires had ever been located before. My curiosity compelled me to follow them out of the dock area and up the hill...where I found a white van filled with people listening to headphones. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, THE ENTIRE FIRST FLOOR WAS BUGGED. This is the reason we had to leave the banquet hall for 90 minutes! Even worse, the Secret Service guys had heard our entire raunch-filled chatter.
No wonder they were laughing.
I sincerely believe the Pentagon has a dossier with my name on it. It is probably passed around and laughed at from time to time. In fact, when Al Gore visited Norfolk a few years ago, he passed through the lobby of the Marriott and shook hands with the employees. I am positive that when he shook my hand, he did a very subtle double-take and then stepped back quickly.
HAHAHAHA!!! This totally made me laugh out loud at work!!! And thanks for the reminder that we can be bugged at any time.......
ReplyDeleteTEEHEE!